Stain
by Alix Potter-Cullen
Summary: Three years later, Gemma is studying to be a teacher. How long can she run from her past before it comes back for her...
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: All characters, and so forth belong to Libba Bray, and I am using them for the sole purpose of appreciating her work._

Prologue

So sweet, the taste, the feel. Oh, how I've missed it. Holding me, gently. He kisses me. _I've missed you._ He smiles, my heart feels whole. _I feel whole_. Better than anything in the realms, more real, yet so far away. _Please don't let me go._ Smiles sweetly then shakes his head, he tells me there is no choice. I don't want to leave but I can feel him, everything slipping away. Tell me you love me. _Wait, please, stay. Don't go._ He tells me it is time, time to wake. I force back to him through the murky fog descending on this dreadfully beautiful dream. The fog envelopes me before I can get far. _Kartik…_


	2. Freedom

_Disclaimer: All characters, and so forth belong to Libba Bray, and I am using them for the sole purpose of appreciating her work._

My head aches dreadfully. There's a sheen of cold sweat on my forehead and at the nape of my neck. My breath is coming in quick bursts. I can feel my heart thundering against my ribcage. I rub at my eyes and press my fingers to them to staunch the tears. I take deep breaths and peer out past the tattered drapes to the bright city streets. I can tell by the sun's high point in the sky that I will be late for lessons.

I push out of bed and dress. I steal a quick glance in the mirror and flinch, I look horrible. There are deep bags beneath my eyes and my cheeks are stained with streaks. I dash the the bowl of rosewater on my desk and splash the cool water on my face. I cup some in my hands to rinse out my mouth. I nearly trip down the stairs in my haste.

As I dash through the busy streets I realize how thankful I am. With all the rush this morning I haven't had time to remark on last nights events. I almost stop and cripple over with the pain as it comes rushing back. I dreamed of him again.

It's been three years now since he was lost to the Winterlands, and he haunts my dreams. I miss him more than ever, time has not fixed anything. For most people, I suspect, after such a long time you would move on and the pain would lessen. It is opposite for me. At first I was distraught, I couldn't bear his loss. But lately I've realized how little i knew him, I can't even remember him ever telling me his last name. Strange, how it hurts more to lose someone, who in reality, I barely even knew. All the time I wasted being a foolish child. I pushed him away. How stupid could I have been?

I hurtle to a stop near an old man and nearly topple into him. I shouts a warning as he hustles by. I place a hand on my aching chest and with the other grab the stone wall bordering the street for support. I bite my lip and try to hold back on the prickling in my eyes. I glance back at the clocktower and feel a jolt of anxiety at the time. I set jaw and grip my teeth together and continue to hurry towards the school hiking my skirts up to my knees.

Study has posed a wonderful distrction, and I am one of the most focused students in my class. My poor teacher thinks it is because of his miraculous lessons that I have turned into the scholarly being I was polar opposite of when I arrived. If only he realized what a horrid git he really was. Some part of it though is my will to learn. My schooling at Spence was nothing more than giggling with friends and causing trouble. Due to the fact that at the Portmans School I have no friends, all that has changed.

I race up the steps and through the grand foyer. I follow the twisting hallways until I reach my classroom. I crash through the door and hurry to my seat. I'm wheezing and sweating all over. Mr. Lousteau glares at me as he puts down the piece of chalk he was using. "Ms. Doyle, care to explain your tardiness?"

Behind me, a gaggle of girls are snickering away. They whisper to each other all saying things like "The nerve!", "She has no class anyway..." and "What a poor example of a female!"

"S-sorry. I just...I, um..." I stutter.

Mr. Lousteau look down at me over his small wire rimmed glasses "Well, I shall see that you make up this time tomorow, where you shall delight me in joining me here before class for an hours-length detention. Hm?" He smiles wickedly. How I despise that squat bug-eyed man. I mumble my recognition drop my head into my hands as he turns back to the blackboard. How tempted I am to hurl my book at his head. I might save it though for one Penelope Carton who is still twittering away in the next row.

She glares at me with extreme distaste. With her upturned nose and pursed lips I'm terribly tempted to question her of any relation to Cecily Temple. Her blond hair is knotted on top of her head and her small mud-brown eyes are narrowed.

"Gemma Doyle," She sneers under her breath "What in heavens name have you been up to? You look ruddy as ever."

I give her a cold smile and narrow my eyes. "Penelope dear, good afternoon to you too! Yes, so true, for I would trade my rosed cheeks for you pig face any day!"

She looks as if she's about to leap at my throat, She matches my sickly sweet tone. "You watch your tongue Gemma Doyle or you'll see more red than you can imagine." I feel the heat rise in me face and my fists are clenched in my lap.

Penelope gives a small shrug and a too innocent smile.

My face is polite but I let the fierceness seep through my gaze. "I promise you, if you do not let me be, Penelope, you shall be sorry. You'll not be able to taunt me any longer when you have a fat lip."

Mr. Lousteau has noticed out conversation and is making his way over. Penelope and her drones instantly whip around in their seats and face the front. I stay glaring stubbornly at her profile until Mr. Lousteau commands me to turn around. I shift forward reluctantly and prepare for an hours worth of boredom. My hand in hovering over my notebook but I am too angered to take notes. When finally we are dismissed I stomp out and head home as fast as I can.


End file.
